Frozen Udders and Milking Whores

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With food on the brain lately I'll start my ramblings upon Vancouver with munchings and crunchings. Food here is sugar pumped and super sweet, even generic supermarket brands. Sushi is plentiful, cheap and tasty. This keeps my tummy in a state of perpetual glee. If this sushi diet was economically viable life would be perfect. To compensate however dairy products are most expensive. My intake of cheese, milk and icecream has dropped considerably. I have theorized the cause of this: the cows must be heated to prevent milk freezing in their udders, the resulting electricity bill pushes up prices. Elect me for mayor and I'll hire the Hasting street crack heads and put them to work massaging cow udders to prevent freezing. Hell throw all the hookers in there as well, at least they'll be good at the milking.

The tenants of my current house include: A couple from Denmark, a french girl (and her female (!) boyfriend - I suspect a trap), a Brisbane drift-racer/spraypainter (Sunnybank bro), a hockey nut from montreal ("piece o shit eh"), us and the Vietnamese family upstairs we never see. The kitchen is peculiar, a baby appears to have exploded in the microwave. Fleshy shrapnel and brown goopy splatter everywhere.

The hotplates on the stove are reminiscent of the sidewalks found in the Billie Jean video clip, they seem to work randomly when you touch them, then stop for a randomised period. Also, I await the day when our washing machine leaps from its confines and reduces the house to a pile of rubble.

Office temping reminds me of working in corporate finance. Dreary life destroying monotony. I break the endless stack of big rocks into little rocks. From my cubicle I survey the charred battlefield of downturned faces. Their posture is stunted. Their backs are broken by the weight of crushed spirits. Day in day out they live ignorant that their jobs are replaceable by a well written puter app. Comforting is the thought a job such as this is merely a stepping stone, a stopover to extend my travel time. Incidentally I'm typing this from said job.

I picked up a tight little rangefinder recently. Been shooting Fuji Reala 100, Kodak UC 160 and some shit rotten iso400 Siologen would be proud of. Love it! Updates have been slow, life has been busy in Van.

Calgary locals Skaught and Fyrephreak came to bootiful BC for a week to hit some of the nicest locations the city has to offer. The Calgarians, myseld and Peter Judd killed it. The Cow towners found the best spaghetti rooftop I've ever seen, named for the long convoluted round-about method of access. Enter via a construction site into a half demolished staircase, climb out of the staircase onto a neighbouring roof, up a rusty exterior ladder, across a roof, up another ladder, down a ladder, pass above an alleyway, climb a sign then finally open a roof hatch into a neat little vacant building.

The ever enthusiastic Team Leader, Hypnotoad and Vgabnd have been my main exploring buddies over my 2 months. Vancouver and further into BC offer much to the resident explorers. Vancouver is my favourite Canadian city so far. I present the following photographic evidence in support of this: