I rolled into a surprisingly warm and sunny London trying to restrain my preconceptions. With the intentions of living in the UK next year I wanted to get a small taste of what I'd be getting myself into. Coming from Japan, land of everything fresh, I was disappointed. I saw no maids, no eight storey electronic stores, no manga, no anime, no ninjas and the lamest of the vending machines. I'm not normally one to care for physical appearance but the contrast between Japan, a land of skinny healthy looking people, and England was striking. The people are pasty and overwight. It's hardly a conclusive study and my sample might be skewed, but it's something I noticed upon arrival. Also fuck me London is expensive, I could have visted every Soap Bar in Japan in a cashmere jumpsuit with Natalie Portman on my arm for what I spent on food over three days in London. It's fucking nuts. To compensate for this we decided to explore instead of paying to see tourist attractions. Excellent choice :)
I met up with world renowned explorer and all round goodah-guy Siologen to purchase my draining essentials. In Australia you can get away with exploring in Teva style outdoor sandals. London of course has lots of nasty sewer overflow, so waders are the norm. If you can imagine the scene from Kill Bill where the bride steps upon the eyeball of the black mamba and it squishes between her toes, that my friends is the sewers of london - they are richly bestowed with used tampons and crumpety poo. Knowing this we wandered the grimy streets of London in search of waders, finally stopping at Farlow's fishing and hunting. If you're into estate type fishing and hunting, and playing 300 POUNDS for waders, then Farlow's is for you. Buried in the back storeroom under the uber goretex waders they managed to find us some cheap (55?!?! pounds) 'uns. Score!
With a cocky swagger, a twinkle in our eye and of course the ever sexy wader and/or head torch combo we busted the manhole and descended into the madness of the river Westbourne. Located under Hyde Park, Knightsbridge and some of the well-to-do areas of London lies this monster of a drain. It's more than a bit pooey, but jesus when has that stopped us. It was designed by the one and only Joseph Bazalgette (all face London and pray) and built in the 1800s but my god they knew how to build a tunnel back then. It's made almost entirely of red/yellow brick and gets quite large. How large you ask, try 13ft redbrick ballon :) Stoop and John Doe first accessed the drain, god bless their underground obsession.
While most drains in Australia consist of a trunk line with few side tunnels and junctions, WB is more like a system. All the big tunnels end at amazingly intricate sewer overflows which are more than active. The air is thick with pooey moisture and haze which have a tendency to collect on camera lenses. Mmm tasty. At regular intervals there are shafts to the surface, all elaborate in their construction. One is a whitish calcium coated staircase, another is a spiral staircase leading to a manhole. The brickwork and the quality of construction is impressive - for 150+ year old drain they're remarkably intact. They show little to no signs of human visitation. We clambered from the drain as the first sunlight glowed low in the sky - fucking sewer fresh baby.
The following day we missioned out to Millenium Mills and the famous Battersea powerstation. Battersea is giant. It's been stripped to a shell, in preparation for conversion into a shopping centre. We slipped over the two fences and dashed across the lit yard to the dark shadows at the building's base. Without knowing how to access the roof we slinked around the basement, up the scaffolding, around the lower floors until, having search damn near everywhere else, we happened upon a stair case leading up. I'm sure the tellychubbies weren't doing rounds as we made a lot of noise and didn't see a peep of action.
The rooftop views and the chimney up close are spectacular, providing the perfect backdrop for shit talking and hoboism. Cruised down the floors shooting peeling rust, a bunch of old artifcats etc. Spied on the seccas sitting in their airconned cars, busted over the fences and started the long walk home. At dawn, again.
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Comments on London is Sewer Fresh
beast
#1 - 2006-08-07 07:32 - Reply
dsankt
#2 - 2006-08-07 10:57 - Reply
dozey
#3 - 2006-08-28 09:27 - Reply
ASH
#4 - 2008-08-23 17:32 - Reply
dsankt
#5 - 2008-09-12 02:28 - Reply